The Medicine For My Suffering I Had Within Me - classical guitar - 15:50

Score - 8.5 x 11

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Suffering, strife, and pain are all unavoidable parts of our existence. The world is an unfair and cruel place, and it will swallow you up then spit you out if you don’t fight against it (and sometimes even if you do, depending on your circumstances). Learning to constructively deal with the anger, frustration, and sadness that we feel from our own suffering and the injustices we see in the world can be very difficult. Some never try or even know that they can. I have made plenty of mistakes along the way, but I have always consciously tried to check and balance myself, to grow, and to resist being devoured by existence.

Since I was a young adult, Bruce Lee has been one of my heroes for many reasons. The title is taken from this Bruce Lee quote which beautifully sums up the way I feel:

The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning,
but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, but I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel.

As a young adult living on my own, working 40-60 hours a week, and playing in a band, I knew something drastically needed to happen in order to prevent myself from being stuck in a rut for the rest of my short life. Like many, I grew up poor and did not have the financial or emotional support to go to college like so many others seemed to. A big step that fueled my climb out of the pit of despair to take the reigns of my future was beginning serious guitar lessons and community college in my early twenties, followed by studying composition in college, grad school, and beyond. I may still be poor, but at least I’m writing music.

The Medicine For My Suffering I Had Within Me was commissioned by Chaz Aguado and completed in April of 2018.